Don’t sound like an idiot. Only in special, special circumstances should you use the same word in a sentence twice. And if you do that, do it like me. Two great examples–case in point. But usually, it’s bad. Very bad, like this sentence my sister-in-law just spewed:
I went to Wal-Mart, and there was a Santa Claus there.
The first “there” will suffice. Or we could even make the sentence shorter:
There was a Santa Claus at Wal-Mart!
That’s all I need to say, eh?
It only takes 7 days for you to stop making this ubiquitous blunder.
I found this in the comments at one of my favorite websites:
(click to see the full-size image)
Do you want this to stop? I do. Here’s how: Take the 7-day challenge. Do not use any contractions. After a week, you’ll be able to tell the difference between YOUR and YOU’RE. Then you can substitute.
your = your
you are = you’re
Why does the no-contraction technique help? It corrects your thinking, and clear thinking makes for clear communication. Try it and let me know how it helps you.
Start by speaking these sentences (i.e. aloud):
You are the greatest writer in the world.
You’re the greatest writer in the world.
You are going to get this right.
You’re going to get this right.
Are you doing your best?
I think you’re doing your best.
I think you are doing your best.
Eliminate contractions for a week, and you’ll have this problem licked.
While dated, asylum will always refer to the place for crazies. Armed with this definition, does something in the picture seem unnecessary?
asylum – 2. n. (dated) an institution offering shelter and support to the mentally ill : he’d been committed to an asylum.
Correction: This way to the Insane Asylum
Don’t buy this sign unless you want people to think that you are crazy.
I actually wouldn’t mind paying that much for a refill.
The cent sign (¢) does not need a decimal point except in rare circumstances.
If I want to indicate a price of 50 cents, I need just that–a 50 and a cents: 50¢. If I want to indicate a fraction of a cent, I must use a decimal point. Let’s suppose that I pump 87 octane at $2.57 per gallon. I’m actually paying $2.579 per gallon or $2 and 57.9¢ per gallon. (If you don’t believe me, take a closer look at the prices on the petrol pump.)
So for this subpar sign there are two solutions:
Drop the decimal point,
50¢ ACCEPTABLE!
or use the dollar sign instead of the cents sign.
$.50 ACCEPTABLE!
Sure, we know what this sign means, but communication is the goal, and accuracy is essential. After all, faltering on the easy ones spells certain doom when it really counts (like when we’re talking about the stock market or your $.8-million inheritance).
See what I mean?
If you see any more appearances of the unwelcome decimal point (or any other English Fails) send them to fail@englishfail.com to be added to the Fail-Spotter Hall of Fame.
The prefix un- means not. Unpaid = not paid. Paid is a transitive verb, which means that it acts upon an object. In this case, paid is acting on merchandise, but not properly or accurately. If I owe you money, you are unpaid. If you have not paid your bill, your bill is unpaid. Despite the passive voice, these sentences are fine. You don’t pay merchandise. You pay for it.
Please look for baggage that is unaccounted for. (common syntax) ACCEPTABLE!
Please look for unaccounted-for baggage. ACCEPTABLE! (although it’s a fake word)
Please look for unaccounted baggage. UNACCEPTABLE!
You do not account baggage. You account for it. You do not pay merchandise. You pay for it.
First, an impractical solution (using a fake word):
Please do not bring unpaid-for merchandise into restrooms. OK!
Then, a wordier, but acceptable one:
Please do not bring merchandise you haven’t paid for into restrooms. OK!
What about a synonym for unpaid-for? Unbought? We’re still using passive voice, but for store signs, ambiguity is perfect for the job. For instance, it is proper but wordy to say, “Please do not bring any merchandise you have not bought into the restrooms.” But to save space, let’s fix the sign this way:
Please leave unbought merchandise outside restrooms. IDEAL!
That’s a 25% reduction in words using better English, and it still sounds polite.
If you see any more appearances of the improper unpaid (or any other English Fails) send them to fail@englishfail.com to be added to the Fail-Spotter Hall of Fame.
